Sex Offenders Getting Younger, More Violent
By Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD
This headline jumped out at me and simultaneously my stomach lurched with mixed emotions. This headline is thirty years late and nothing will change. I have been working to help adults recover from sexual and physical abuse for twenty-six years. Nothing has changed with regard to prevention on a global scale. Society believes having more severe penalties will solve the issue—despite everything to the contrary.
Having worked twenty-six years specializing in sexual child abuse prevention and recovery and working with sex offenders in the recovery process, it is clear to me that society’s approach to stopping sexual child abuse isn’t working.
Society needs to take a hard look at the fact that laws can not prevent behavior. If laws and the threat of incarceration prevented behavior, then why are we constantly building more prisons? The laws such as: Megan’s Law and laws to prevent sex offenders from living closer than 2,000 feet of a school are giving families a false sense of security. This decision is fool-hardy because sex offender’s behavior is the result of a compulsion and not as a result of a poor decision. If sex offenders are unable to control their compulsions they will find access to children no matter where they live or no matter how many registries they are listed on. The compulsion is so strong they will risk anything to have access to children of their choice. Furthermore, national statistics reveal 80 percent of children, who are sexually abused are abused by family members—parent(s), grandparent, uncle, cousin, sibling, step-parent, et al.
Incarcerating sex offenders for life doesn’t stop sexual child abuse either. As a society we are ‘creating’ new sex offenders every day. Sex offenders are men or women, who are sexual or physical abuse survivors and they are using sex with children as a way to cope, to numb or distract themselves from the emotional pain. Frequently, the sex offender is seeking a similar experience to the pain they endured as a child. Unbeknownst to them, they are creating the moth to the flame scenario. In other words, the offender might believe she/he will never offend again, but when the compulsion to relieve the internal pain becomes too great they will offend. It is a compulsion that she/he can not stop. This compulsion solves the internal pain if only for a brief period albeit at the peril of going to jail. However, since the internal pain is beyond their ability to override its excruciating effect, they can not merely stop themselves.
Healing emotional issues for anyone who was sexually abused—no matter the reason—is possible. An innovative and highly effective process to achieve deeper and more total healing can be achieved through healing mind, body and spirit. This process is direct, focused, and combines healing the past while creating the future. People will make a subtle and effective transition to self-discovery and empowerment.
Healing emotional issues at the core addresses the all-important relationship to one's true spiritual nature. Transforming the psychological conditional patterns and unconscious beliefs that arise from our personal histories and adaptations effectively transforms our mind, body and spirit. Thus, you transform how you feel, sense, and experience global political mass consciousness, as well as your individual consciousness, like never before. A Mind, Body, Spirit approach addresses the three critical aspects of one's being, therefore opening the door to true balance and emotional healing.
The real answer to stopping sexual child abuse between adult and child or child-on-child is stopping what creates people to sexually abuse children and to heal those who are sex offenders.
Contrary to popular belief, 99.44 percent of sex offenders can heal their compulsions. Once their sexual/physical abuse emotional trauma is healed the compulsions disappear. The final stage of healing is forgiving their abusers and forgiving themselves for abusing others.
The psychiatric profession treats sexual and physical abuse survivors as if they have done something wrong or are inadequate. "What is wrong with you?" or "What happened to you?" implies blame, sickness and fault. Asking, "What did you experience growing up?,” allows the person to begin the process of discovering the source of their pain and healing the wounds.
Sexual abuse does not heal itself. Time, marriages, children, success, wealth, buying a bigger house, or faster car, changing jobs or relocating will not CURE it. The damages are deep, pervasive and profound. It is a soul injury. The survivor is robbed of his or her innocence, core identity and trust. It is 'violence' that does not require force. The child is thrown into a state of shock. For some the memories remain conscious, while others drive them beneath the conscious level. These coping mechanisms are carried into adulthood and impact the person's life on every level.
Scott Poland, past president of the National Association of School Psychologists, stated, “I don’t think it’s appropriate to suggest we have whole schools full of sexual predators… but we’re seeing more of it and more sexually aggressive acts.”
Sharon Araji, an Alaska psychologist who researched the problem and reported it in her book, Sexually Aggressive Children, thinks the number of child-on-child sex crimes is actually even higher than the statistics indicate. Only 28 percent of all sexual assaults are reported to police, according to a 1999 National Crime Victimization Survey. “And cases of incest between siblings are widely thought to be underreported and may drive the numbers even higher,” Araji says.
Some psychologists have bravely connected the dots between a sex offender’s childhood experiences and their behavior. The increase in numbers—40 percent over two decades—on a society saturated with sex and violence is considered a factor. Violence in the form of corporal punishment at home and in schools is being recognized as a contributor to creating sex offenders.
It is estimated 40 to 80 percent of child-on-child sex offenders were molested themselves. And 42 percent have been exposed to hardcore pornography, the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention said in a 2001 report.
Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, author, "If I'd Only Known...Sexual Abuse in or Out of the Family: A Guide to Prevention, specializes in: Mind, Body, Spirit healing and Physical/Sexual Abuse Prevention and Recovery. As an inspirational leader, Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life's challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening. http://www.drdorothy.net
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