Sexual Abuse Recovery—Healing the Aftereffects

By Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD

Have you been in therapy for three or more years for sexual abuse recovery and still have many of the same issues plaguing you? If so, you might want to consider a different approach to the healing process.

Sexual Abuse, rape and incest recovery is much easier with Hypnotherapy. Hypnotherapy is highly effective to heal the negative effects of sexual abuse, rape and incest.

Using a seven-phase program in conjunction with hypnotherapy to heal the emotional wounds by moving through the pain toward freedom and triumph over trauma, you will discover you can live the life you deserve. In this seven-phase program you and Dr. Neddermeyer become partners on your path to healing and creating healthy sexuality and the complete celebration of the joy of living pain free.

Healing from Sexual Abuse—Is the time right for you to finally heal sexual abuse in your life and create the life you deserve? Of course it is time! And now that you have made that decision, the rest is easier than you think - especially with the power and effectiveness of Hypnotherapy. The time is certainly right for you to heal from sexual abuse, rape, incest, or in fact any other form of mental or physical abuse. The light at the end of the tunnel is a reflection of who you really are—you are NOT the abuse! You are YOU—a unique and wondrous person. You will learn how to alter your thoughts, words and actions and triumphantly begin living a life of freedom from sexual, emotional or physical abuse.

Sexual Abuse - Victim or Survivor? You are not a victim—your abuser didn’t destroy you—you are only wounded—NOT dead. You are a Survivor—albeit—in a lot of emotional pain. Through the healing process you can transition from being a Survivor to being a Thriver.

You can be the master of your own life! The only control your abuser now has over you is a carry-over from what your perpetrator forced upon you in the past. You can stop that control. Now by your own choice you are your own master!

Sexual abuse affects your life until you complete a healing process specifically for sexual abuse recovery. Although anyone can have the following issues, they are especially prevalent among survivors of sexual and physical abuse. Sexual Abuse After Effects include, but are not limited to:

• Anxiety. Do you often worry, unable to sit still or constantly on the go?

• Panic Attack--heart palpitations, shortness of breath

• Relationship Problems. Are your relationships with family, friends, and significant others full of stress, inability to truly communicate?

• Nightmares/flashbacks

• Insomnia. Trouble relaxing and sleeping.

• Addictions. Do you attempt to fill the void with food, drugs, alcohol, work, or sex?

• Extreme Emotions. Do your emotions often seem out of control?

• Depression. Do you feel that life will never be better and that as long as you are alive you will be in pain?

• Hyper-vigilant. Do you feel like you must be constantly on guard?

• Inability to trust or trusting indiscriminately.

• Physical Issues. Are you plagued by--headaches/migraines, stomach problems, MS, PMS, TMJ, Cancer, Chronic Fatigue, Fibromyalgia, Restless Leg Syndrome, Lupus, Lower Back Pain?

• Angry Outbursts/Road Rage. Does your anger interfere with your life?

• Shame/Guilt/Humiliation. Do you believe you are at fault—If you had only....thus you experience the ensuing shame, guilt and humiliation?

In an effort to prevent child sexual abuse, Dr. Neddermeyer also treats abusers. Child molesters, pedophiles and sex offenders have responded successfully to therapeutic hypnosis. A pioneer in this field, she is dedicated to bringing this treatment program into the mainstream. Dr. Neddermeyer recently presented this unique recovery process to professionals in New Dehli, India at the 2nd World Regression Congress. She presented the program in the Netherlands in 2003 at the 1st World Regression Congress.

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, author, "If I'd Only Known...Sexual Abuse in or Out of the Family: A Guide to Prevention, specializes in: Mind, Body, Spirit healing and Physical/Sexual Abuse Prevention and Recovery. Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life's challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening. http://www.drdorothy.net

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dorothy_M._Neddermeyer,_PhD
http://EzineArticles.com/?Sexual-Abuse-Recovery—Healing-the-Aftereffects&id=231102

Intuition - Heed It

By Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD

Many people ask me, "How can I know if I can trust my intuition?" Intuition-that gut sense or 6th sense can seem counter to what we have been taught or has been role modeled. Yet, intuition is a legitimate source for decision making. You might make spur-of-the-moment decisions, which could mean you will go about things without fully considering the consequences. While spontaneity is positive when you are faced with certain choices, it is also important to think carefully about all the possibilities of the matter.

If you listen to your intuition closely, you will notice that you do not need to pour over decisions in great detail in order to do what seems natural and unplanned. If you need to make a choice, take a few minutes to ask yourself the question: "Is this the right thing to do?" A quick answer may surprise you with its judiciousness. Using your intuition as a guide can help you make quick decisions without needing to deliberate deeply over them.

Your intuition gives you what is the best choice for you. When you make impetuous decisions it is often because you are afraid what your inner guides are telling you. Not only could this lead you into trouble, but it also makes the ramifications of your choices more difficult to handle. It only takes a moment to listen to what your inner voice tells you. By doing this you will make the choices that are best for you. Allowing your deeper feelings to guide; you will make choices that will put you on a path that is right for you.

One way to authenticate your intuitive ability is asking yourself these questions. When I follow my intuition how often have I regretted the outcome? When I decide to discount my intuition how often have I regretted the outcome? The majority of people say when they follow their intuition they have good results. When they discount their intuition they regret the outcome each time. First Published: www.qassia.com

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, Life Coach, Hypnotherapist, Author, "101 Great Ways To Improve Your Life." Dr. Dorothy has the unique gift of connecting people with a broad range of profound principles that resonate in the deepest part of their being. She brings awareness to concepts not typically obvious to one's daily thoughts and feelings. http://www.drdorothy.net

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dorothy_M._Neddermeyer,_PhD
http://EzineArticles.com/?Intuition---Heed-It&id=1506125

The Healing Power of Companion Animals

By Marie Boyum

"A doctor may heal the body, but an animal can heal the soul." (- Hester Mundis, Author of Heart Songs for Animal Lovers

All over the world, in the medical and scientific communities, animal shelters and "average Joe's" are all clearly seeing the health benefits from being a pet owner. The Australian Veterinary Association (AVA) states it, "recognizes the importance of the human-animal bond and promotes the benefits of pets to the community." From infants to seniors, the advantages of having an animal companion are numerable.

Researcher James E. Gern, MD, a pediatrician at the University of Wisconsin-Madison said that, a growing number of studies have suggested kids growing up in a home with "furred animals," whether it's a pet cat, dog, or on a farm exposed to large animals have less risk of allergies and asthma.

In his recent study, Gern analyzed the blood of babies immediately after birth and one year later. He found if a dog lived in the home, the infants were less likely (19 % vs. 33 %) to show evidence of pet allergies. They also were less likely to have eczema, a common skin condition causing itching and red patches to appear. In addition, the infants had higher levels of some immune system chemicals, which is a sign that a stronger immune system is being activated.

Autistic children who have pets have been shown to have more pro-social behavior and children in general have a higher self-esteem if there is a pet of any kind in the family. Pets aid in physical activity, teach responsibility and help with emotional growth. Many children are guided by the routine a pet requires, have their first taste of being accountable for another being and learn the importance of sometimes needing to put others before their own wants and desires.

Seniors have been shown to require less medical attention when they are pet owners, which in turn mean less medical costs. Depression and loneliness is greatly diminished, as well as stress and anxiety; leading to (in some cases) a sense of usefulness and responsibility that is restored. Especially with dog owners, partial stress reduction is due to feeling safer with a "natural alarm."

However, many seniors are opting for non-traditional pets in lieu of dogs and cats and finding health benefits in ferrets, rabbits, pot-bellied pigs, birds, and fish. Fish have been found (for all ages) to relax dental patients before surgery and overall have a positive effect, reducing blood pressure, muscle tension and increasing longevity after heart attacks. In addition, fish reduce cholesterol and triglyceride levels while also improving resistance to heart and cardiovascular disease.

Fish have also had a positive nutritional effect on Alzheimer's patients; studies show a significant boost in patients' weight and food consumption when located near fish tanks. In other senior centers, there was notably a decrease in physical aggression when a fish tank was installed in an area that patients had frequent access to.

In nursing homes where companion animals became part of the therapy, the use of prescription drugs and the overall cost of caring for patients dropped. According to a study (Montague, 1995) nursing home facilities in New York, Missouri, and Texas that had animals and plants as an integral part of the environment, showed medication costs drop an average of over 310 percent per patient, per day; that amount could even be significantly higher today.

Pets increase our physical activity thus leading us to better overall health. In today's society with obesity being an issue for adults as well as children, the activity that a pet can provide, assists every age in achieving a healthier well being.

Have a dog? Studies have shown that dogs can aid in controlling "freezing" in Parkinson's patients, and other reports tell of dogs detecting cancers. One dog in Florida named George is 100% accurate on malignant skin cancers. Dog's acute sense of smell accounts for their amazing ability to detect illness in humans. Dogs, as well as various other types of pets, have been reported to alert owners to low blood sugar levels, and there are several other stories spreading throughout the medical and news communities about how pets have aided in helping people with health emergencies.

Not to be undone, new research is being conducted at the University of Minnesota Stroke Research Center on the potential medical benefits of cats. A study of 4,435 people who were followed for a decade found among other things that, people without cats or who never had cats, had a 40 percent greater risk to die of a heart attack and a 30 percent greater risk to die of any cardiovascular related disease.

For many years, scientists have proven that vibrations at specific levels or frequencies can induce bone growth and regeneration, increase production of a body's natural anti-inflammatory compounds, and repair muscles, tendons and ligaments. They now also know what frequencies various cat's purr at, such as, tigers, lions, panthers, and domesticated house cats. That same 20-50 Hz of the housecat's purr induces increased bone density, relieves pain, and heals tendons and muscles.

In addition, respiratory problems associated with heart disease have also shown to be helped by a cat's purring, and although unproven, many persons have stated that they can ease or completely eliminate migraine headaches simply by lying down with a purring cat next to their head.

Both dogs and cats have been shown to offer humans so many health benefits, but they too reap the health rewards of a loving home. When we pet them, they also have reduced heart rates and blood pressure as well as, alleviating any stress of ours they have taken on throughout the day.

Whether our animal companions can detect illnesses early or just alert us to an already existing condition that is flaring up, having an animal companion is proven to be a great asset to our physical and emotional health. To receive all the best animals have to offer, make sure you take the time and research what pet is truly right for you and your family. That way, both you and the animal have the happiest and healthiest life together and bring can bring each other joy for many, many years.

Marie Boyum is an animal communicator with Sacred Animal Spirit and is honored to aid in a better understanding between animals and humanity as well as helping to pass on their messages of wisdom, love and giving to the world.

http://www.sacredanimalspirit.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Marie_Boyum
http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Healing-Power-of-Companion-Animals&id=1691523

Horrifying Effects of Sexual Abuse in Children

By Anurag Ahluwalia

Sexual abuse in childhood is a form of child abuse in which a child is forced or pressurised into engaging in sexual acts or activities for the gratification of an adult or an older adolescent. Sexual abuse includes direct sexual contact such as intercourse or oral sex, asking and pressurising a child to kiss and touch genitals, an adult indecently exposing their genitals to a child, displaying pornography to a child or using a child to produce pornography.

Children are usually abused by people close to them. That is, by members of the family: parent, carer, brothers, sisters or other close relatives or family friends, which makes it altogether more difficult for the child to talk about it and seek help.

Effects of child sexual abuse can result in serious short and long term effects. Short term effects include, a child suddenly behaving differently following his/her first experience, thinking badly of themselves, withdrawal and becoming secretive, difficulties sleeping, bed wetting, fearful and frightened of physical contact. Adolescents may try to run away from home, become promiscuous and start drinking alcohol and/or illicit substances. Long term effects include, psychological, emotional, physical and social effects including depression, anxiety, post traumatic stress disorder, physical injury, difficulties forming and maintaining relationships, among other problems.

If you have been abused or think that you may have, it can be very hard to talk about it at first. You can try to talk to your parents, a relative or a close friend; however, if you feel that they may not be able to help or you may not want to talk to them, then you can talk to a teacher or counselor at school.

There are a number of leaflets and books with written information about sexual abuse that you can find useful. Also, with details of organisations where you can talk to someone anonymously, who understands and may be able to support, and guide you to seek professional help.

If you suspect that a child is being abused, you can contact their school or a local children's charity or organization for advice. Alternatively, you can contact your local social services team who will be able to offer more detailed advice.

If you have suffered Sexual Abuse at the hands of someone you know or close to you then you should speak out and get Support.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Anurag_Ahluwalia
http://EzineArticles.com/?Horrifying-Effects-of-Sexual-Abuse-in-Children&id=1674581

Do Sexual Abuse Survivors Need Therapy?

By Gudrun Frerichs

I have been asked the other day whether people need to go to a psychotherapist or counselor to recover from sexual abuse. I think that is a really good question. Does a person need therapy to heal? I don't think it is necessary to go to a psychotherapist or counselor. However, they need something because there is little evidence that people heal 'naturally' meaning by itself just through time passing.

What do survivors of sexual abuse need to recover? Human beings, like all mammals, depend on other's to help regulate emotional and physical states. Babies depend completely on others for state regulation. Growing up people can do it more and more for themselves - if they have good enough caregiver/parents. However, people are never completely able to regulate their states by themselves. That's where chat rooms, face book groups and other social networks on and off line are coming in. People need people who care, listen, understand, and are supportive.

Those who experienced abuse while growing up struggled to learn to regulate their emotional and physical states. The creation of the necessary the neuro pathways and cortical networks did not take place or only took place minimally. This is certainly the case if good enough parenting was a problem or if parents were also the abusers.

As a result here you are now, an adult, struggling with depression, anxiety, mistrust, phobias, flashbacks, physical flashbacks, to name a few of the disturbing symptoms. What is needed is to have access to another person who understands, listens, cares, believes, challenges when necessary, to help establish the ability to self-regulate. Recognition given to the survivor in these forms enables them to build self-confidence and self-respect. These are functions of the SELF that enable emotion regulation and distress tolerance.

People only get that form of recognition through another person. That can be a therapist, but doesn't have to. It can be a friend, partner, or a group. It has to be someone who focuses fully or a lot on the survivor's needs. What's needed is someone, who through his/her actions affirms that the survivor is lovable, ok, gorgeous, cute, interesting, resourceful, clever, strong, or amazing. Such recognition will strengthen the survivor's sense of self.

It is sad to realise how many survivors are for a long time on the recovery journey without support. That's really a hard thing to have to do. The problem is if things take a long time and survivors don't feel they are making any progress, they come to believe that they are un-helpable. They even might feel like giving up. That's tragic!

A good therapist is able to make this journey much easier for survivors of sexual abuse. Having said that, the expression "good" doesn't really refer to degrees or training or other achievements. A good therapist is someone who can establish a relationship with survivors. It is someone who is able to help survivors feel at ease and overcome the often deep seated mistrust. Although a good therapist needs to know about how sexual abuse impacts on survivors on multiple levels, most important is that he/she understands that survivors making a huge leap of faith by seeking help and this courage deserves highest respect.

Gudrun Frerichs, PhD is the director and founder of Psychological Resolutions Ltd. Visit her website http://psychologicalresolutions.co.nz. for information about counseling, coaching, psychotherapy, and training courses for professional and personal development. She has been a trauma specialist for over 20 years and done extensive research in the area of recovery from sexual abuse.

Dr. Frerichs is setting up a new online resource and networking service for survivors of sexual abuse - it will be online early September 2008 - stay informed about exact dates by visiting her Blog http://www.gudrunfrerichs.com

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Gudrun_Frerichs
http://EzineArticles.com/?Do-Sexual-Abuse-Survivors-Need-Therapy?&id=1411432

Does Having a Secret World Keep You From Healing Sexual Abuse?

By Seth Lepore

Martin's first experience going to a strip club was his 21st birthday. By the time Martin was 23 he was frequenting several clubs on a weekly basis. He thought this was normal enough behavior until he got involved in his first "real" relationship. He decided to hide this part of his life entirely from his partner.

What was worse was the guilt he felt as he lied about long hours at work, hanging out with friends, or other obligations that didn't exist.

What is the purpose of a Male Survivor keeping secrets?

Simply put, the purpose of keeping secrets is power. During your abuse you were either directly threatened or subtly coerced into secrecy about your abuse. Whatever tactic was used kept the perpetrator in the power position.

You learned how to keep a secret about a very powerful experience. Now you use that skill in order to take back the power that was stolen from you. However, the secret world that you keep (and refuse to give up) is one that is wound up in guilt and shame.

Why is having a secret world so important for Sexual abuse survivors?

As a survivor, the loss of control felt during an abusive situation continues into adult life and shows up in the day-to-day decisions that you make. You may have overwhelming situations at home, work and in friendships that consciously or unconsciously remind you of the abuse. This does not always make logical sense. Your secret world helps to alleviate the stress and sense of overwhelm that seems "out of control".

You may indulge in drinking, gambling, drug use, pornography, compulsive masturbation, massage parlors, overworking, promiscuity, excessive procrastination or a variety of other methods to control the pain. The fact that you get away with these secrets may make the impulse to do them greater and in more intense circumstances that have the possibility of exposing you.

In many ways you are re-living your traumatic experiences, this time from the position of power but the person being abused is the same: yourself.

How does living with secrets compromise your success and intimate relationships?

The foremost person that your secret world affects is you. You may put yourself in compromising situations that could dangerously affect your health and safety. You know this to be true but the urge to indulge does not seem optional.

If your secret is "found out" you may feel incredibly defensive of protecting it and may try to shut out the person who has discovered your double life. You deeply wish to find comfort in someone who understands that you are not a bad person, not weak. This, though, seems impossible.

What are the steps to sharing your secret word with someone else?

Trust is the key word. Trust was another key component that was damaged during your abuse. You may feel that there is no one whom you can depend on beside yourself and that burden weighs heavily on you.

Here are some steps towards safely confiding in another person:

1. Set aside some time to write about your secret world. This is a personal journal that no one else ever needs to see. The first person you need to get honest with is yourself. Write about every aspect of why having this secret is important, how it makes you feel and what it would be like to not have it hidden any longer.

2. Write the words Trust and Unconditional Love at the top of a page as separate columns. Now write down anyone who you know that you feel you would trust with this sensitive information. Do the same for people you feel unconditionally love you.

If you draw blanks on either of these lists don't panic. The ability to trust and feel love has been tainted by the abuse. This exercise is merely a way to get specific about the people in your life that are close to you.

3. Contact a counselor who is compassionate to the complexities of child sexual abuse, and in particular male survivors. It is of the utmost importance that you work with someone who is not judgmental of your choices. Having a third party who holds your experience in confidence can lessen the feeling of being exposed.

I work with most clients by phone, which is also helpful in terms of anonymity, as sometimes "facing" someone else about these issues is difficult.

Wait a Minute...

"I thought that everyone kept secrets of some kind? What makes mine different?"

Although the gap between a little white lie and betrayal is vast, the main difference of a male survivor's secrets is the perpetuation of sexual dysfunction.

The double life you lead and the compromises you make in order to hide this secret world is simply exhausting. The fact that exposing your secret world would have a detrimental effect on your life feels very real, however it is a choice that will ultimately free you from the confines of the abuse.

"I've had a secret world for so long. I don't know if I can stop."

This is normal. It is beyond a simple urge or craving. Keeping the secret seems absolutely necessary. Having to hide, to not tell, for fear of being exposed, ostracized or judged far outweighs the desire to either stop or to seek out help.

The learned behavior of keeping secrets can be unwound and understood. You can find a sense of peace and comfort in sharing the details of your hidden self with a trusted ally in your healing process.

Martin Decides to Change

After months of hiding his strip club outings from his partner, his need to go got worse. It was almost becoming a daily occurrence that he found himself in a new club. He started to experience panic attacks and have flashbacks of his sexual abuse.

Martin decided to seek help. As he slowly started to talk about his secret life with his counselor he began to see how his strip club fascination was a way of acting out the power dynamics he had with his perpetrator.

He slowly began to see the patterns: the specific way of hiding his emotions, the guilt he felt for having sexual desire and how he held himself responsible for being abused. He understood for the first time that he needed to forgive himself.

In Summary

Underneath the secrecy that Male Survivors keep are the complicated feelings and thoughts surrounding the abuse. In short, you were put into a state of dire terror and are making decisions from that place.

When anything reminds you of the abuse you may decide to use your secret world to escape the overwhelm, even if it causes you to feel worse afterwards. The way to get through this is to talk it out. You go slowly with a counselor that you trust.

You can heal the abuse, have extraordinary connections with friends, family and sexual partners and have a rewarding career. All of these things are possible. You can lead a life where secrets feel like options instead of necessity.

What's Next?

If you would like to learn more about healing sexual abuse from a male perspective, subscribe to my free newsletter at http://healingthesurvivor.com

My name is Seth Lepore. I am an Intuitve Counselor who works with Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse. You can sign up for my free newsletter at Healing the Survivor. You can reach me directly at seth(at)healingthesurvivor.com.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Seth_Lepore
http://EzineArticles.com/?Does-Having-a-Secret-World-Keep-You-From-Healing-Sexual-Abuse?&id=1404296