Sexual Abuse of Students by Teachers Increasing

By Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD

Sex offenders have not been on vacation. It is a huge responsibility to protect children from the egregious and damaging act of sexual abuse by teachers and other school employees. Every school administrator and staff need the best information and strategies available to meet this obligation.

There are five critical techniques administrators and teachers can employ to identify the majority of sex offenders before the damage occurs. Once identified school administrators need to employ every technique possible to protect children from those who are considered suspect. One key technique, 'Appropriate Suspicion,' based on human behavior and probabilities, is a powerful tool to thwart would-be sex offenders. Appropriate Suspicion has five levels of suspicion and strategies for prevention.

One key technique is 'Appropriate Suspicion,' based on human behavior and probabilities, is a powerful tool to thwart would-be sex offenders. Appropriate Suspicion has five levels of suspicion and strategies for prevention.

Another significant technique is 'Trust your gut,' a.k.a intuition/6th sense. If someone's behavior or comment no matter if it is made in jest, doesn't sit right, or sets your nerves on edge, this is a clue that something could be afoot. Of course, you can not act on your gut/intuition/6th sense, but you can keep your eyes and ears open to discern if other clues surface. Sex offenders count on people's reluctance to 'judge' anyone, therein lies their wall of protection from detection.

We can out smart would-be sex offenders, if we simply practice the five critical techniques to thwart them. You will not break any ethical codes or laws if you keep your eyes, ears and mind open to the reality that anyone--even those you love and trust--could be a sex offender.

Furthermore, there are seven compelling parent approved and child tested techniques for parents and children to thwart would-be sex offenders. As you know teacher sexual abuse and sexual abuse in general in the school environment has increased in the past few years.

Coupled with the school administrators and staff employing the five techniques to monitor possible sex offenders and parent/child employing the seven prevention techniques, a powerful and empowering strategy is in place to protect children from would-be sex offenders.

Selected News reports of Teacher Sexual Abuse of Students:

• March 3, 2008 a female student, at Mountain View High School advised The Pima County Sheriff's Sex Crimes Unit responded, she had been sexually abused by a male teacher.

• March 4, 2008, detectives from the Sex Crimes Unit arrested Jason William Baridon (DOB 01/12/75), at Mountain View High School, on two counts of Sexual Abuse. Mr. Baridon was booked into the Pima County Adult Detention Center. Public Information Officer Pima County Sheriff's Department.

• P.E. Teacher Arrested for Sexual Child Abuse. Posted by Jeff Quinton on April 28 , 2008. Baltimore County Police Department news release: ...

• 4/26/08 Teacher Arrested on three counts of Sexual Abuse
Tawni L. Wimberley, 29, a former computer/technology teacher at Flagstaff High School in Flagstaff, Arizona already indicted by a grand jury on one count of sexual conduct with a minor has been charged with two additional counts of sexual conduct with a minor. Wimberley had passed all background checks.

As a pioneer in sexual child abuse prevention/recovery, I have represented survivors of childhood sexual abuse for more than 30 years. Criminal charges provide the justice system with a chance to detain sexual predators. Civil claims for sexual abuse hold the institutions that allow sexual deviants to prey on child accountable for the lives damaged by sexual abuse. No school environment is immune to being a haven for a sex offender.

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, author, "If I'd Only Known...Sexual Abuse in or Out of the Family: A Guide to Prevention. Dr. Neddermeyer is noted for her pioneering work in verbal, physical, sexual abuse prevention and recovery.

http://www.drdorothy.net

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Saying "No" to "Touching My Private Parts" - Not Enough to Protect Your Child from Sex Offenders

By Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD

The majority of parents do a good job teaching their children to beware of strangers. Yet most victims of child sexual abuse know the sex offender.

In a study of twenty adult sex offenders conducted by Jon Conte, Steven Wolf and Tim Smith; two of the key questions asked were:

1. “Was there something about the child’s behavior which attracted you to the child?”

Responses included:

• “The warm and friendly child or the vulnerable child…Friendly, showed me their panties.”

• “The way the child would look at me, trustingly.”

• “The child who was teasing me, smiling at me, asking me to do favors.”

• “Someone who had been a victim before—[spanking or inappropriate touch]—quiet, withdrawn, compliant. Someone, who had not been a victim would be more non-accepting of the sexual language or stepping over the boundaries of modesty… Quieter, easier to manipulate, less likely to object or put up a fight…goes along with things.”

2. “After you had identified a potential victim, what did you do to engage the child into sexual contact?

Responses included:

• “I didn’t say anything. It was at night, and she was asleep.

• “Talking, spending time with them, being around them at bedtime, being around them in my underwear, sitting down on the bed with them… Constantly evaluating the child’s reaction… A lot of touching, hugging, kissing, snuggling.”

• “Playing, talking, giving special attention, trying to get the child to initiate contact with me… From here I would initiate different kinds of contact, such as touching the child’s back, head… Testing the child to see how much she would take before she would pull away.

• “Isolate them from any other people. Once alone, I would make a game of it (red light, green light with touching up their leg until they said stop). Making it fun.”

• “Most of the time I would start by giving them a rub down. When I got them aroused, I would take the chance and place my hand on their penis to masturbate them. If they would not object, I would take this to mean it was Okay... I would isolate them. I might spend the night with them… Physical isolation, closeness, contact are more important than verbal seduction.”

We cannot ignore the sophistication of sex offenders’ efforts to desensitize the child through the gradual development of a relationship with the child and progressing from non-sexual touch (touching a leg, back or head) to sexual touch. Given that 95-99 percent of sex offenders are people their victims know and trust—family members and other trusted adults—even children as young as two can be taught to know what to do to protect him/herself.

For a child who has been taught only to say, “No’ to touching his/her private parts—one of the consequences of this relationship building and desensitization process is self-blame. By the time the child realizes that his/her private parts were touched—the damage is done—and the child may believe he/she has given consent to the abuse. He/she thinks because he/she did not say, “No” when the adult rubbed her/his back or head, he/she is to blame. It only takes one second for a sex offender to stick his tongue into a child’s mouth when he is giving a ‘traditional family’ kiss on the lips. It only takes one second for a sex offender to put his hand up a girl’s leg and touch a child’s labia while she sits on his lap.

Studies reveal that teaching a child to say, “No” has little impact because it is rare a child will affect more than weak resistance against a known sex offender. Furthermore, the sex offender will usually ignore a simple, “No.” The sex offender uses subtle or blatant threats, intimidating the child into compliance and silence.

My book, If I’d Only Known…Sexual Abuse in or out of the Family: A Guide to Prevention, emphasizes six important prevention techniques.

• Non-violation of sacred Body boundaries—to thwart the sex offender who counts on—a child who has been violated before—quiet, withdrawn, compliant. Someone, who had not been a victim, would be more non-accepting of the sexual language or stepping over the boundaries of modesty… Quieter, easier to manipulate, less likely to object or put up a fight…goes along with things.”

• Good, Appropriate Touch

• Appropriate Body Boundaries

• Good Body Image

• Tell Mommy and Daddy Everything—No Secrets Rule

• Appropriate Suspicion

Appropriate Suspicion (intuition, a.k.a. sixth sense) alone when acted upon empowers the child to thwart the majority of would-be sex offenders. Coupled with the other five techniques—your child is well prepared to stop every sex offender in their tracks.

Trusting and acting on your intuition or sixth sense and allowing your child to trust his/her intuition is paramount to protecting children from sex offenders, no matter whether they are family members, family friends, doctors, dentists, teachers, etc. Children are naturally intuitive and often sense an adult’s ulterior motives, although you may not suspect anything.

We need to accept the reality that no one can be considered exempt from being a sex offender, including all family members. As a parent, be appropriately suspicious and trust your intuition. If you err in evaluating a situation, make the error on the side of your child. The important factor is not that you have avoided offending someone, but that you have protected your child, until you can investigate further.

The title of my book, If I’d Only Known… is the lament of my friend’s daughter whose three-year-old son was sexually abused by her step-mother’s ten-year-old son. If only I had known that he would potentially abuse other children because he was sexually abused, I would never have let John play in the backyard alone with him.” She was right, if only parents knew the fact that sexual abuse is perpetrated, ‘anywhere, anytime, and by someone you least expect, they could protect children from this heinous crime.

Another important aspect of child protection is taking responsibility.

“Those who ignore the past are condemned to repeat it.” –Jean-Paul Sartre

“We are not only responsible for what we do, but also, for what we don’t do.” –Voltaire

“The worst way you can choose is to choose no way at all.” –Friedrich II

“Every choice we make, every thought and feeling we have, is an act of power that has biological, environmental, social, personal and global consequences.” –Caroline Myss

“You can not change that which you do not acknowledge. –Dorothy M. Neddermeyer

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, author, "If I'd Only Known...Sexual Abuse in or Out of the Family: A Guide to Prevention, specializes in: Mind, Body, Spirit healing and Physical/Sexual Abuse Prevention and Recovery. As an inspirational leader, Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life's challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening. www.drdorothy.net

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Sex Offenders Getting Younger, More Violent

By Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD

The Arizona Republic, Sunday, June 10, 2007 - Sex Offenders Getting Younger, More Violent by Kim Curtis Associated Press. Stockton, CA

This headline jumped out at me and simultaneously my stomach lurched with mixed emotions. This headline is thirty years late and nothing will change. I have been working to help adults recover from sexual and physical abuse for twenty-six years. Nothing has changed with regard to prevention on a global scale. Society believes having more severe penalties will solve the issue—despite everything to the contrary.

Having worked twenty-six years specializing in sexual child abuse prevention and recovery and working with sex offenders in the recovery process, it is clear to me that society’s approach to stopping sexual child abuse isn’t working.

Society needs to take a hard look at the fact that laws can not prevent behavior. If laws and the threat of incarceration prevented behavior, then why are we constantly building more prisons? The laws such as: Megan’s Law and laws to prevent sex offenders from living closer than 2,000 feet of a school are giving families a false sense of security. This decision is fool-hardy because sex offender’s behavior is the result of a compulsion and not as a result of a poor decision. If sex offenders are unable to control their compulsions they will find access to children no matter where they live or no matter how many registries they are listed on. The compulsion is so strong they will risk anything to have access to children of their choice. Furthermore, national statistics reveal 80 percent of children, who are sexually abused are abused by family members—parent(s), grandparent, uncle, cousin, sibling, step-parent, et al.

Incarcerating sex offenders for life doesn’t stop sexual child abuse either. As a society we are ‘creating’ new sex offenders every day. Sex offenders are men or women, who are sexual or physical abuse survivors and they are using sex with children as a way to cope, to numb or distract themselves from the emotional pain. Frequently, the sex offender is seeking a similar experience to the pain they endured as a child. Unbeknownst to them, they are creating the moth to the flame scenario. In other words, the offender might believe she/he will never offend again, but when the compulsion to relieve the internal pain becomes too great they will offend. It is a compulsion that she/he can not stop. This compulsion solves the internal pain if only for a brief period albeit at the peril of going to jail. However, since the internal pain is beyond their ability to override its excruciating effect, they can not merely stop themselves.

Healing emotional issues for anyone who was sexually abused—no matter the reason—is possible. An innovative and highly effective process to achieve deeper and more total healing can be achieved through healing mind, body and spirit. This process is direct, focused, and combines healing the past while creating the future. People will make a subtle and effective transition to self-discovery and empowerment.

Healing emotional issues at the core addresses the all-important relationship to one's true spiritual nature. Transforming the psychological conditional patterns and unconscious beliefs that arise from our personal histories and adaptations effectively transforms our mind, body and spirit. Thus, you transform how you feel, sense, and experience global political mass consciousness, as well as your individual consciousness, like never before. A Mind, Body, Spirit approach addresses the three critical aspects of one's being, therefore opening the door to true balance and emotional healing.

The real answer to stopping sexual child abuse between adult and child or child-on-child is stopping what creates people to sexually abuse children and to heal those who are sex offenders.

Contrary to popular belief, 99.44 percent of sex offenders can heal their compulsions. Once their sexual/physical abuse emotional trauma is healed the compulsions disappear. The final stage of healing is forgiving their abusers and forgiving themselves for abusing others.

The psychiatric profession treats sexual and physical abuse survivors as if they have done something wrong or are inadequate. "What is wrong with you?" or "What happened to you?" implies blame, sickness and fault. Asking, "What did you experience growing up?,” allows the person to begin the process of discovering the source of their pain and healing the wounds.

Sexual abuse does not heal itself. Time, marriages, children, success, wealth, buying a bigger house, or faster car, changing jobs or relocating will not CURE it. The damages are deep, pervasive and profound. It is a soul injury. The survivor is robbed of his or her innocence, core identity and trust. It is 'violence' that does not require force. The child is thrown into a state of shock. For some the memories remain conscious, while others drive them beneath the conscious level. These coping mechanisms are carried into adulthood and impact the person's life on every level.

Scott Poland, past president of the National Association of School Psychologists, stated, “I don’t think it’s appropriate to suggest we have whole schools full of sexual predators… but we’re seeing more of it and more sexually aggressive acts.”

Sharon Araji, an Alaska psychologist who researched the problem and reported it in her book, Sexually Aggressive Children, thinks the number of child-on-child sex crimes is actually even higher than the statistics indicate. Only 28 percent of all sexual assaults are reported to police, according to a 1999 National Crime Victimization Survey. “And cases of incest between siblings are widely thought to be underreported and may drive the numbers even higher,” Araji says.

Some psychologists have bravely connected the dots between a sex offender’s childhood experiences and their behavior. The increase in numbers—40 percent over two decades—on a society saturated with sex and violence is considered a factor. Violence in the form of corporal punishment at home and in schools is being recognized as a contributor to creating sex offenders.

It is estimated 40 to 80 percent of child-on-child sex offenders were molested themselves. And 42 percent have been exposed to hardcore pornography, the Office of Juvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention said in a 2001 report.

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, author, "If I'd Only Known...Sexual Abuse in or Out of the Family: A Guide to Prevention, specializes in: Mind, Body, Spirit healing and Physical/Sexual Abuse Prevention and Recovery. As an inspirational leader, Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life's challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening. http://www.drdorothy.net

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More Evidence: Obfuscation Rules the World

By Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD

In writing about Instant Message Etiquette, Matthew Baek, Forbes.com, writes, “When it comes to instant messaging in the workplace, credit former Florida Congressman Mark Foley with being the poster boy for bad judgment.”

“The recent hoopla surrounding Foley's sexually explicit text communications with teenage congressional pages led to his abrupt resignation. The continuing fallout also threatens to cost his Republican Party the House and Senate majorities following the upcoming mid-term elections.

Foley's case may be an extreme one, but it's hardly the first misuse of instant messaging since the technology hit the workplace in recent years. "The most important thing, whether it's e-mail or instant messaging, is that the technology gives you a chance to communicate before you think," says Rita Kirk, professor of communications at Southern Methodist University….”

Baek implies that Foley’s only bad judgment was in using Instant Messages as the form of communication with under-age pages.

Foley soliciting under-age boys for sexual activity is the bad judgment Foley made whether he conducted it via Instant Message, e-mail or face-to-face. Furthermore, Baek states “The recent hoopla surrounding Foley’s sexually explicit text communications....—implies Foley did nothing wrong except to use the wrong form of communication—i.e. Instant Message.

Baek’s blatant obfuscation of the facts regarding Foley’s admitted solicitation of under-age boys is reckless, reprehensible, irresponsible and inexcusable.

Society is in deep denial about:

• a sex offender’s ruse, their cunning distortion of the truth and their insidious ability to con people into believing they are innocent and/or the beleaguered party. i.e. Foley’s only mistake was using instant message.

• what constitutes sexual child abuse. The definition of sexual child abuse is decided on the merits of each case rather than a ’standard definition.’ No other criminal act against another person is decided on a case by case basis. For example: If a person points a loaded gun at another person’s head and says, "If you move, I will shoot you." That is considered a threat of attempted murder. If a person says, "I will kill you." That is considered a threat of attempted murder. In the case of sexual child abuse, not only can a person sexually abuse a child and be acquitted of any wrong doing, the definition is changed based on the person accused, and on a ‘he said, he said or he said, she said basis.

Obfuscating articles from a respected publication as Forbes.com only serves to continue the already insidious denial. All sexual abuse survivors deserve an apology from Mr. Baek.

Unless, and until everyone accepts sexual abuse for what it is and sexual child abuse is adjudicated on the merits of the standard child sexual abuse definition, sex offenders will abuse children under society’s nose without fear of being arrested or found guilty.

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, author, "If I'd Only Known...Sexual Abuse in or Out of the Family: A Guide to Prevention, specializes in: Mind, Body, Spirit healing and Physical/Sexual Abuse Prevention and Recovery. As an inspirational leader, Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life's challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening. http://www.drdorothy.net

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Oklahoma’s Approach to Sex Offenders

By Kadence Buchanan

Despite the fact that America boasts of one of the most effective judicial and criminal systems in the world, we still struggle mightily with the problem of dealing with sex offenders who prey on innocent victims. American society has yet to find an ideal approach to dealing with this social problem.

This concern has resurfaced in recent weeks due to various high-profile sex crimes in media. With the dearth of an effective national approach to the problem states and cities have tried to deal with sex offenders in their own way. For instance, California has instituted a two-year civil commitment for convicted sex offenders, which means that these sex criminals will serve another two years locked up in a prison facility in addition to the official sentence handed down by the court in their case.

Oklahoma is dealing with sex criminals in a different way. The state has a law that prohibits sex offenders from living in most residential areas in an attempt to keep them away from families and children that reside in these areas. An updated version of the law stipulates that these criminals cannot move into an abode that is within 2,000 feet of day-care centers, playgrounds and parks. Schools have been a banned territory for sex criminals in Oklahoma for years. In addition, sex offenders who were already residing in such areas when the law was passed will be compelled to move residence if they are within 300 feet of these locations.

As such, the law practically expels sex offenders from most places in cities and towns in Oklahoma, which leaves little option but to live in the rural areas. And already, this possibility has raised an uproar in several rural venues in Oklahoma as law enforcement officers, civil rights proponents, prosecutors, lawmakers and children's advocates complain that the new law will make Oklahoma countryside less safe.

As one local parole officer put it, ``Residential restrictions actually increase recidivism'' and since these criminals will likely be based in rural communities, that is where they will likely revert back to their evil form.

In any case, national observers are keeping a keen watch on Oklahoma to see just how effective this new approach to sex offenders will be.

Kadence Buchanan writes articles on many topics including
Society, Aging, and Family

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Religious Sects, Lay Male Clergies, and Sex Offenders

By Norton Nowlin

In the United States today, any person, male or female, can easily obtain a ministerial license by sending off a hundred dollars in the mail to one, of many, license dispensing organizations. After getting a license, an aspiring organizer can advertise their own brand of religion in a large city newspaper, such as the "New York Times" and, within a week, have at least ten receptive believers in his, or her, congregation. I'm sure Jim Jones and the Peoples' Temple conjure up horrible visions of murder, suicide, mayhem, and the vicious betrayal of public trust in the minds of the relatives of those unfortunate victims of the Jonestown massacre. Nonetheless, few objectively religious Americans presently realize how easy it is for sexually aberrant leaders within certain religious sects to gain the total confidence of their supplicant families, in order to, over time, ravenously satisfy their sexual appetites with the innocence of young trusting children.

There are, currently, certain popular religious organizations in the United States, which have been around for over a hundred years, such as the Jehovah's Witnesses, that maintain huge male lay clergies and advertise, through the media and the printed word, their adherence to traditional family values. Many thousands of single men and women, as well as families, change their religious affiliations every year through contact with itinerant missionaries and representatives of these very wealthy sects. Many of these proselytiizing missionaries pay their own way to knock on the doors of potential converts. The Jehovah's Witnesses Watchtower Society has a saying, they sometimes wish to deny, which goes, "publish or perish." This means that convert Witnesses are intimidated into knocking on doors and publishing Jehovah's Witness doctrine, disseminating that ubiquitous pamphlet, "Awake," to everyone they see, by the threat levied by their leaders that they will spiritually perish if they don't.

When a man is accepted, and ordained, into such a typical lay clergy, his background isn't officially examined, to any extent, by those doing the ordaining. If the individual willing agrees to pay a tithe of his income and to adhere to the strict rules of the particular sect, his word is usually accepted as truth in an interview prior to the rites of admission. The leaders of these sects, high priests, priests, elders, and such, actually believe that they have the same power of discernment as the biblical Apostle Peter, to determine whether a person is lying or telling the truth. They believe that, by ordination, these powers can be conferred. This leads to one of the most heinous acts which may be committed by the leaders of a sect, that being covering up and protecting an accused sex offender when that person is an ordained priest or elder, in order to keep the accusation and the crime away from the media. This is what the Roman Catholic Church has done on numerous occasions.

Believing such doctrines is okay, as personal beliefs, per se. But when the physical welfare of young children is advertantly placed into jeopardy, into the hands of sexual predators who have successfully lied their way into the fellowship of local congregations for the express purpose of satisfying their sexual cravings, as a result of such practices, the discernment doctrine, and its accompanying rituals, have to become immediately suspect. The old scenario of a murderer, rapist, or convicted criminal seeking refuge in a monastery, in order to purge himself from a world of sin, is melodramatic but unrealistic when dealing with a pedophile. In a monastery the aberrant person is, at least, cutoff from the rest of the world, and can't do harm to others behind monastic walls. But a pedophile, convicted or unconvicted, cannot be contained, and will commit his vile crimes again and again if allowed his/her freedom to associate with, or be around, children. Even after decades of psychiatric therapy, it is almost impossible for pedophiles to change their spots. This fact, alone, makes me wonder why a leader of a sect would have the temerity to pronounce a convicted sex offender free of sin, as innocently clean as a new-born lamb, and free to interact with the children of parents unaware of the man's criminal history.

Since it is going to be long time before American law will force ecclesiastical leaders of sects to perform criminal history checks on those many men, and women, they induct into their ranks and, after a year-or-more, ordain to lay clergies, I encourage all congregational parents to beware of single, or married men, who take an abnormal interest in their male and female children. You can recognize potential pedophiles as those men, and women, who regularly carry candy in their pockets and hand it out to the children, before, after, and in-between Church services. Pedophiles are frequently older men who regularly offer to freely transport children around to their after-school or summer activities. Beware if there are older men in your congregations seeking to associate with children by offering to give free computer/video game lessons. Sometimes these men will salivate for months, and years, before worming their way into your lives for deviantly ulterior purposes. This is why I seriously believe that the universal penalty for sexual child molestation should be chemical castration.

Unfortunately, in a libertarian religious society, such as what you have in the United States, the main burden of protection for young children, from pedophiles, is levied upon the shoulders of concerned parents. When I was a California peace officer, during the 1980s, I was shocked at the number of children placed under the care of San Diego County Child Protective Services, during a months time, as a result of physical, mental, and sexual abuse, just at home. And it really hasn't changed that much. In, both, large cities and small communities, there are adult child molesters who regularly harm children, physically and sexually, as a result of uncalculated rage or premeditated design. More American fathers are now being charged with child rape than ever before. Perhaps it is high-time for laws to be changed to protect innocent children, who may become the victims of sexual predators in unchecked religious societies.

Norton R. Nowlin took M.A. and B.A. degrees in the social and behavioral sciences from the university of Texas at Tyler, studied law for one full year at Thomas Jefferson School of Law, in San Diego, California, and earned an ABA-approved advanced paralegal certification from Edmonds Community College, in Lynnwood, Washington. Mr. Nowlin as attended LaJolla, California's National University and Malibu's Pepperdine University to attain graduate credits in business management and economics. Mr. Nowlin also attained a Texas State Teaching Certification, in social studies and psychology, from the University of Texas at Tyler. A paralegal, published essayist, poet, and free-lance fiction writer, Mr. Nowlin resides in Northern Virginia with his wife, the renown math tutor, Diane C. Nowlin, and their two very intelligent cats.

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Who Sexually Abuses Children?

By Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD

Is your child prepared to deal with society's worst scourge-Sexual Abuse? Throughout the world thousands of children are sexually abused/assaulted by adults. To adequately prepare your child for life's cruel realitiy, you need to prepare him/her about sexual abuse prevention. How can children protect themselves?

If your child knows the rules of 'stranger danger' you have protected your child from a 1% chance of being sexually abused/assaulted. Thus, your child is vulnerable to the most likely sexual child abuse offender, family members or other trusted adults. 80% of children who are sexually abused are abused by family members, 19% are abused by someone the child knows and trusts. The other little known statistic is the frequency of sexual child abuse. David Finkelhor and Dianna Russell's research reveals 62% of girls and 31% of boys will be sexually abused by age 18. Unfortunately this statistic is considered low due to the difficulty in gathering data from surveys or reporting agencies.

The unbelievable truth about sex offenders is that they do not hold beliefs reflecting society's moral and ethical values. Most sex offenders go to great lengths to present themselves as exemplary people; the teacher, who frequently stays after school to help a child having academic difficulties or the gym teacher/coach, who takes special interest in a budding athlete.

I am not suggesting that everyone who does these things is a sexual abuse perpetrator. Insidiously, sex offenders demonstrate the right, moral, and exemplary behavior to develop credibility and establish proof of their love of children, thus thwarting any suspicion of wrong doing. Sex offenders frequently take jobs which afford easy access to children-child care workers, teachers, coaches, etc.

Failure by any knowing adult to protect children from physical or sexual abuse is considered a crime. The world was shocked when David Steinberg killed his "adopted" daughter in 1987. What was more shocking, was what happened to his common-law wife, Hedda Nusbaum. See Control and Co-Dependency in the Home. http://www.geocities.com/fcov.geo/home.html

If I'd Only Known...Sexual Abuse in our Out of the Family: A Guide to Prevention is the book every parent/caretaker needs to keep children safe. Seven compelling parent approved and child tested techniques to thwart would-be sex offenders. It has been endorsed by Interfaith Sexual Trauma Institute (ISTI) www.csbsju.edu/isti

Resource: Finklehor, David, Child Sexual Abuse: New Theory and Research (Free Press, New York, NY, 1984), Russell, Diana, The Secret Trauma: Incest in the Lives of Women and Girls (Basic Books: New York, NY. 1986)

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD, author, "If I'd Only Known...Sexual Abuse in or Out of the Family: A Guide to Prevention, specializes in: Mind, Body, Spirit healing and Physical/Sexual Abuse Prevention and Recovery. As an inspirational leader, Dr. Neddermeyer empowers people to view life's challenges as an opportunity for Personal/Professional Growth and Spiritual Awakening. http://www.drdorothy.net

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Understanding Typosquatting

Typosquatting involves the practice of purchasing domain names that closely match typing errors commonly made by people who type a URL into their browsers. Typosquatting is commonly used by pornographers. Typosquatting is based on the liklihood of a large number of Internet users will mistype the name of the Web site address or URL while surfing. Typosquatters usually register numerous possible domains with typos for a specific brand name or a Web site that is known to be popular.

Pedophiles use typosquatting as a technique to mislead children into accessing sites that strongly resemble popular legitimate sites. The site names are often intentionally confusing so that the content can be misrepresented in search engines to attract a large number of visitors. They may have forms on their Web sites that request information from kids. Once the information is given out, the kid is often contacted by the pedophile and given sexually explicit materials.

Typosquatters are unethical persons who profit from the great number of spelling errors. There have been criminal cases filed against some of these persons but for the most part, it is still a civil matter in many jurisdictions.

An Inside Look at The Online Sexual Predator

The Internet sexual predator is usually a male but current studies indicate that up to 6% are female. They come from all social, economic and racial backgrounds and are usually between the ages of 13-70. The few things they all have in common is that they have perfected their skill in selecting victims who will remain silent, have advanced techniques for avoiding law enforcement detection and their goal is to have sex with a kid.

There are over half a million registered sex offenders in the US alone and it has been estimated that 70% of them surf the Internet. This of course does not count the ones whose offense did not qualify them for the local sex offender registry, the ones who pleaded guilty to another crime, the ones given diversion, the ones who have completed their sentence, or the ones that have never been caught. In many cases the whereabouts of even the registered ones is not known.

Chat rooms are where 90% of the first contacts are made between a suspected sex offender and a young person. The names of these chat rooms can range in something as generic as Kansas1 to Dads4SexyDaughters and other names that are much more graphic than most people can imagine. From there the conversation quickly moves to a private instant message, then to the telephone, then to postal mail and then to the face-to-face meeting where the sexual abuse incident occurs.

There are specific phases that the suspected child molester will go through in his victim selection process. These steps can take place over just a few days or it can take several months but the eventual goal is to lure a young person to a personal meeting where he can involve the young person in sexual acts for his own gratification.

Victim Selection - During this phase, the potential child molester makes contact with the young person. He then verifies all of the information the young person has placed in his or her profile. He does this by asking the kid questions and by piecing together other information he finds on the Internet. When the kid gives out his last name, name of school and the name of the city or town where he lives, the predator then goes to online map sites, school sites and directories to obtain as much information as possible.

Survey of Family Dynamics - This is the phase where the potential child molester learns how well the young person is supervised, who the others are that live in the household and what the habits of the family may be. The predator will usually ask if the child lives with both parents or has any siblings. Then he'll inquire about how and what time the kid gets home from school. He will then inquire about whether or not the kid is alone during the say while parents work and even asks who checks the mail.

Introduction to Secrecy - During this phase, the potential child molester begins to try to build a trusting relationship with the young person. He may tell the kid that the relationship needs to be kept a secret because nobody would ever understand it or he may imply that the young person could be in trouble if his parents or other adults ever found out. He will then teach the kid how to permanently erase e-mail messages and attachments, manipulate the chat software so screen names appear differently or don't appear at all on the buddy list. He may also instruct the kid about how to avoid parental controls and monitoring software.

The dialog between the young person and potential child molester usually becomes very sexually explicit and often includes step-by-step masturbation lessons.

Introduction to Adult Materials and Child Pornography - It is very common for the potential child molester to expose the young person to erotic adult materials, hardcore adult pornography and child pornography. These items are sent vial instant messenger or e-mail. This is usually done for two reason; It wears down the child's inhibitions and it serves to give the child the message that sexual acts between adults and children is normal and acceptable in the mind of the potential child molester. The predator will also use the pornographic or erotic materials to demonstrate specific acts that he intends to perform with the child during the face-to-face meeting. They frequently include everything from oral sex to bondage and many times bestiality

The child may be encouraged to take sexually explicit photos of himself or herself and send them to the potential child molester. The kid can also be encouraged to perform sexual acts on his or her Web cam for the potential child molester.

Offline Contact - Not long after the initial contact, the potential child molester will want to have telephone conversations with his intended victim. These conversations usually include advanced masturbation lessons and the suspected child molester is usually making it real obvious to the young person that he is masturbating and wants the kid to masturbate and discuss the details.

The potential child molester is likely to be sending gifts to the child at this point. They may be arriving at the kid's home or they may be sent "general delivery" so that they can be picked up at the post office. I've seen gifts ranging from stuffed animals, games and jewelry to condoms, lingerie, and adult toys.

The Face-to-face Meeting - This is considered the most dangerous phase of all and it is important to know that in most areas, the suspected child molester has not broken the law or if he has it isn't a very serious one. The crime occurs when he shows up intending to have sex with a child or does follow through with his plans for sexual assault. The potential child molester arranges a discreet personal meeting with the young person. The first meeting usually takes place at a fast food restaurant or other public place such as a mall or city park. Within just a few minutes, the child is taken to a rented motel room, the home of the sex offender or even the victim's home.

What can parents do?

Talk to your children about how important it is to never send their picture to someone they've met on the Internet. Talk to your child's school and let them know that they need your permission to post a picture of your child in online news releases, sporting events, year books and other parts of school Web sites.

• Keep the computer in a common area of the home and never in the child's bedroom.
  

• Do not allow your child to use a Web Cam, digital camera, or video camera, or voice chat without your very close supervision.
  

• Do not allow your child to possess storage devices for the computer including jazz drives, zip drives, CD-ROM's, additional hard drives, external hard drives, jump drives, or video capture cards. These devices are what are used to store photos and exchange photos and video clips and require your very close supervision.


• Do not allow your child to have access to "wiping" or "evidence elimination" software. It is difficult if not impossible to recover evidence from a computer that has been "wiped."


• Monitor your child's phone calls and postal mail. Child molesters will often use toll free numbers, send prepaid phone cards, or cell phones for kids to use when contacting them.

If you know or suspect that your child has been approached by a child molester or pedophile online, report it to your local law enforcement agency immediately.

Society's Response to Male Sexual Abuse

Read the current accounts of boys being sexually abused by teachers and you may soon see that the offense is being viewed in a whole different way than abuse by male teachers and female students.

Sexual abuse against boys is not as frequently recognized by society as a criminal offense as it is when a female is abused. Much of society appears to show a lack of interest in hearing about male sexual abuse and have false beliefs about what constitutes male sexual abuse.

Many people are in denial and would rather put the blame on the boy rather than hold the adult accountable. Adults tend to make the child victim may feel like that he "caused it happen," or "it is proof" that he enjoyed it.

Often adults believe that boys should be able to fight back. Boys are taught at a very young age that they are supposed to be strong and can protect themselves. without adult intervention This places an incredible burden on boys often leaving them feeling guilty, ashamed, and depressed. The truth is that just like girls, boys cannot always fight back.

Just like it works with female victims, the perpetrator exercises his or her position of authority and frequently uses resources such as attention, gifts, money, or threats to gain control over the child.

Many male sexual abuse victims live in fear and suffer the feelings of guilt and shame because they experienced physical arousal while being abused. This does not mean that the child wanted the experience or understood what it meant at the time.

When a boy is sexually abused by an adult male, many people believe that sexual abuse only happens to homosexual boys or those seeking to become homosexual. People believe that as a result of the abuse, the victim automatically becomes homosexual. The very nature of sexual abuse and incest, and its associated stigma causes humiliation, shame, self-blame, fear, and secrecy for survivors. This places a heavy torture is a primary reason why most sexual abuse goes unreported. When it is reported, people want to believe that the boy is reporting a false memory and is simply dreaming up the events of his sexual abuse.

Many of these victims cope with the abuse by using alcohol, abusing drugs and may suffer from depression, and anxiety. These victims may see their lives as out of control and will often become abusers themselves. Like all child sexual abuse, sexual assault on a boy by a male offender is about abuse of power and controlling the victim and not all about sex at all. The pain of admitting that he could not protect himself leaves him feeling worthless, helpless and guilt ridden so victims remain silent out of fear humiliation and ridicule.

If a female offender initiates sex with a boy, it is often viewed as an encounter other boys and men would envy. The male victim of a female abuser often feels deeply ashamed of himself, believes something is wrong with him, and that he is weak for not being able to fight off the offender.

What we need is to educate people and end the cycle of abuse. In a society of equal rights, let's extend those rights to the boy that reports sexual abuse and rape. We all know there is no cure of pedophiles but we can make it much easier on the victims. Boys do not want to be victimized by men or women but when they are, the boy's abuse is less likely to be recognized by adults.

Early Symptoms of Child Sexual Abuse

Many people have different views and perceptions about what constitutes sexual abuse. Some believe it is not abuse unless the child was forced to have sexual intercourse at gun point. While this type of crime does occur, there are many other forms of child sexual abuse that are just as illegal and just as damaging to the victim.

Child sexual abuse includes a variety of sexual behaviors that take place between a child and an adult. All of these behaviors are intended to give sexual gratification to the adult without regard to the effects on the child and without consideration of the child's well-being.

Sexually abusive acts often involve bodily contact such as sexual kissing, touching, fondling of genitals, and oral, anal, or vaginal or intercourse with a body part or an object. There are also acts that are sexually abusive that do not require bodily contact and are considered virtual contact. These very emotionally damaging acts include Web cam broadcasts where adult or child masturbates or appears in sexually explicit poses, flashing in person or on the Internet, phone sex, voice chat and text messages.

In The Online Victimization Process, we learned that one of the primary elements of child sexual abuse is the fact that the abuse is done in private and is almost always kept a secret. Occasionally threats are used to keep the victim quiet so that the abuse can continue. This makes child sexual abuse difficult to detect but if you pay close attention to a child's behaviors, you will be able to recognize the possibility that the child has suffered sexual abuse. These symptoms are usually seen within the first few years following the abuse:

• Children act out their sexual abuse and demonstrate sexual behaviors that are inappropriate for their age and have an unusual interest in sexual acts far beyond what is natural for his/her age. This sudden obsession with sex and sexual acts is something that should not be ignored and is probably the most obvious sign of sexual abuse that exists.


• Some child sexual abuse victims acquire eating disorders including Compulsive Eating Disorder, Bulimia, Bulimia Nervosa Eating Disorder, binge eating disorders, and Anorexia.


• Children may act out their abuse through violence toward other people or animals.


• Child sexual abuse victims often become depressed and withdraw from friends and family.


• Some children will act out by attempting to injure themselves or by attempting suicide.


• The sexually abused child may also experience sleep disturbances, behavior and/or performance problems at school, and non-participation in school and social activities

Many people falsely believe that once the child has been removed from the abuse situation or the abuse has stopped, the effects will go away. Unfortunately, as you this is very rarely the case and most of the time, sexual abuse survivors suffer from a lifetime of consequences.

It is important that you seek professional help for the child as soon as possible. Some children will want to discuss the feelings he or she has in association with the trauma and others may never want to reveal the details of the abuse. Providing the opportunity to understand that the child is not to blame is essential in the healing process.

Common Myths About Sexual Abuse

Myth: Children are usually molested by strangers.
Fact: About 95% of children are molested by someone they know including family members, extended family, relatives, close friends, neighbors, teachers, members of the clergy and others who know the child. The person most likely to molest children a child are the ones that have the most access to them. The purposely place themselves in positions where there is easy access to children.

Myth: Child sexual abuse usually occurs in poor families.
Fact: Child sexual abuse knows no geographic, socioeconomic, religious and ethnic boundaries. Any child can be at risk of being sexually abused.

Myth: The offending male usually mentally ill.
Fact: There are no statistics to substantiate that the average sex offender is mentally ill, or mentally challenged.

Myth: Children lie about sexual abuse.
Fact: Children do not have an advanced sexual knowledge unless they have experienced it and do not have the ability to make it up without being exposed to it.

Myth: Children are seductive and they have hidden fantasies about sex. They desire it and receive pleasure from it.
Fact: The idea of a child being seductive is a false adult idealization that usually comes from viewing children as sexual objects. Child pornographers will claim that since the child is smiling in the picture, he/she wanted the sexual violation to occur.

Children who have experienced sexual abuse quickly learn that to get their emotional or physical needs met, they have to perform the acts desired by their abusers. Adults misinterpret this as a desire to be abused or as a child "being seductive."

Myth: Sexual abuse is non-violent and therefore cannot be damaging.
Fact: Even without physical violence, sexual abuse leaves a permanent scar with the victim. This damage includes loss of a normal childhood, being betrayed and exploited by someone they know, love or trust and often bearing the burden of the abuse for a lifetime.

Myth: Sexual abuse is usually a one time isolated incident or perhaps even just a misjudgment on the behalf of the abuser.
Fact: The average sex offender has between 30-150 victims before his first arrest. He often spends weeks, months or even years grooming the child for his own sexual gratification.

Myth: It is better not to talk about child sexual abuse. Children will forget about it and will live normal lives.
Fact: Adults work to avoid talking about child sexual abuse because it makes them uncomfortable. This can cause the child to feel that it is something to be ashamed of and something to feel guilty about. This attitude actually serves to protect the offender and allow him to continue his activity with even more victims. Children don't just forget being sexually abused.

Tools of the Online Predator

The same technological advancements designed to make our lives easier or help our businesses run more efficiently are often the same tools used by sexual predators to avoid detection.

The average online predator first makes virtual contact with his or her potential victim through chat, instant messages or e-mail. The online child molester then wants to enhance his or her fantasy and increase the level of sexual gratification so he seeks offline contact with his carefully selected victims.

He or she then searches for tools that will enable him or her to reduce or eliminate paper trails that will easily expose his or her illegal activity.

BROADBAND PHONE SERVICE

Broadband phone service is combines local and long distance calling services for one low flat rate fee. All of the standard features that come with regular phone service are usually included in most broadband plans. (Caller ID, call waiting, 3-way calling, voice mail and more.) Service is usually set up within minutes and calls are placed with any standard touch tone telephone.

A phone adapter converts the analog phone signal to digital so that it can be sent over a broadband connection and the carrier’s network. The phone adapter is about the size of a portable CD player making it convenient for traveling. It can be used anywhere that there is a broadband connection. The service offers online billing so there is no bill sent in the mail and payments are usually made by credit card each month.

PREPAID CELL PHONE SERVICE

Prepaid wireless service works the same way that other cell service plans work except that the airtime is paid in advance. There are many companies on the Internet and in the local communities that offer prepaid wireless service. There is no credit check, no deposit, no contract and no bill arriving in the mail.

In many cases, there is no age restriction and anyone who purchases the phone can use it.

The phone is purchased online or through a local retail store. The service is then activated online or by calling an 800 number and is not interrupted as long as airtime is purchased.

Prepaid wireless plans are attractive to the online criminal because they offer a certain degree of privacy, are not easy for the average person to trace and can be easily disposed of if necessary.

PREPAID PHONE CARDS

Purchasing prepaid-paid phone cards online virtually eliminates the paper trail associated with making calls through the traditional method using a long distance carrier. The customer purchases the calling card and within 15 minutes, he/she receives a toll free access number and a pin number. Sometimes the information just appears on the screen once payment is received and that is the only record of the transaction and sometimes the information is e-mailed to the customer.

Since the payment is received in advance, there is no bill that arrives in the mail and the risk of another household member even having knowledge of the existence of a phone card is minimal.

Prepaid phone cards have many benefits. They can be used from any touch tone phone. They are readily available on the Internet, at nearly any large retail chain store, and through nearly every US Post Office.

These too are difficult to trace unless you have the actual card or have the access number.

There are hundreds of Web sites on the Internet offering toll free phone numbers that can be activated instantly and most of them only have a small charge for airtime. Most of them require credit card billing for airtime that must be paid in advance. 

There is usually an account set up at the time of purchase where the user logs in and can change the ring-to number. This would allow the phone to ring on any phone including a home phone, work phone, cell phone or can be programmed to be sent only to voice mail.

Toll free numbers make tracing the number without a warrant or subpoena very difficult. The user can give out the number and receive calls without revealing his/her location. The person making the call always reveals his/her phone number when calling a toll free number. This is true even if the user blocks caller ID or has a privacy block on the line. The callers number shows up in a call log in the toll free number account.

TIPS FOR PARENTS

1. Review your monthly phone bill and talk to your kids about any phone numbers including toll free numbers that appear on your bill.
   
   
2. If your son or daughter has a cell phone, review the numbers they call and talk to them about any "blocked numbers" that appear under incoming calls.
   
   
3. If your kids suddenly receive a cell phone in the mail, talk to them about who sent it and check out any claims of how they may have "won" it. 

The Online Victim Selection Process

The average Internet sex offender will victimize between 30 and 150 victims before his first arrest. This victimization ranges from exploiting children through child pornography to child abduction and rape.

Many people criticize law enforcement for not being able to permanently stop these crimes against children but the real dilemma is that there are too many child sexual predators to handle effectively. I don't know of any official statistics but my best estimate would be that sexual predators out number law enforcement by about 2000 to one.

So how does the victimization process work? Here are some important factors:

• Internet predators are seeking to find the kids that have regular and unsupervised access to the Internet. One of the very first questions a kid is asked is "Where are your parents?" If the parent is either gone or in another room, the predator gives this child some points on the possible victim scale.


• The predator often seeks victims whose daily routine is similar to their own. Early in the conversation the predators will seek information about what the child's interests are. That may come in the form of a question similar to, "What kinds of things do you do when you are not online?" The primary reason to ask this question is to see how frequently the kid is available to him. The predator is seeking kids that are consistently online about the same time each day and don't have many activities outside school that would interfere with the time he can spend with the child. If the kid's answer is, "I just hang out," more points are given to this potential victim.


• A few of the predators communicate via e-mail but not very many. Most sexual predators prefer to use instant messaging to keep in contact with the potential victim. He may originally meet the kid in a chat room, through a post in a forum, or any other area of the Internet but the communication quickly moves to instant messaging.


• Online predators seek young people who are vulnerable, lonely and naive. They often use a variety of tactics to draw the young person into a conversation. They may pose as teens themselves or grossly lie about their age.


• More potential victim points are given to the child who comes from a single parent family, has trouble in school, has had a few encounters with the law, has some substance abuse problems, or is already sexually active and not afraid to talk about it.


• The Internet sex offender is searching for the kids who pack their profiles with lots and lots of information. The kid who posts his name, age, phone number, lots of pictures and documents his daily activities in a blog makes a perfect victim.


• The online predator prefers his victims to have Web cams, digital cameras, or camera phones. He will apply lots of pressure to the teen to get these items if they don't already have them and most predators will purchase a camera for the kid and send it to them. The sexual predator will coerce or intimidate the kid into performing sex acts on Web cam, send him sexually explicit photos or create provocative videos for him to view.


• The victim who is most at risk is the one that doesn't terminate the conversation when the topic of having sexual activity is raised. The kid often gives more weight to the fact that he/she is getting attention and pays less attention to the uneasy feeling he/she has about talking very openly about sex. The kid will tolerate hearing about the predator's most violent and disturbing fantasy just to avoid losing his/new online friend.


• Any child online is at risk for sexual abuse or sexual exploitation but both boys and girls between 12-15 are the most likely ones to be coerced into a face-to-face meeting without telling a single person.

Here are some tips about how to avoid an encounter with a pedophile, child molester or sex offender: Talk to your children and educate them about some of the dangers associated with posting an ad for a pen pal or responding to a request for a pen pal. Children should not post their names, addresses, or other personal information in an online pen pal ad. Do not allow a child to place his or her photo on a pen pal Web site and talk to the child about when it may be appropriate to exchange photos with a pen pal. Children need to know that if anything about the pen pal relationship makes them uncomfortable, they are asked to keep a secret, or they receive inappropriate requests or material from a pen pal, they need to talk to a trusted adult about it immediately. Never allow your child to have a face-to-face meeting with a pen pal without a trusted adult present and always meet in a safe public place such as a fast food restaurant or mall. Do not allow the child to leave with someone, be picked up, or dropped off at his or her home or meet someone alone. If you are concerned about the safety of your family, remember that parental supervision is the best way to protect your children but you may also want to consider using an ISP with parental controls. Here are some resources for monitoring your children's Internet activities. CyberPatrol lets you monitor and control your child's online activities and protects them from harmful content, including Spyware and Phishing sites. It lets you block or filter chat and instant messaging programs as well as safeguard against abusive language in chat sessions. National Alert Registry (NAR) was designed to bring sex offender information directly to the public. By conducting a ZIP Code search they will be able to notify you if a sexual offender has moved into your community as well as provide you with a complete profile of the sexual offender. Cyber Detective guides you through the process of finding information about nearly anyone. This incredible software resource will instantly guide you through the maze of over 800 million web pages and bring you to where you need to be to find what you're looking for, then walk you through the process of how to locate the information you're seeking.

Web Cams: Is your child being exploited

Web cameras are one of the new and admired electronic toys used by child pornographers, pedophiles, and child molesters to gain immediate sexual gratification and exploit a young person. Most of the commonly used instant message programs have the capability of connecting a Web camera to the Internet for live video conferences. Many of the programs have an icon letting other users know if there is a Web camera attached to another user's computer.

The sexual abuser sits in the chat rooms and game areas where children are known to visit. They contact those children with a Web camera and coerce them into masturbating and posing in sexually lewd positions in front of their cameras. The sex offender may be viewing one child or may be viewing several at the same time. There can also be more than one offender viewing the same child.

Many of these offenders have hardware attached to their computers that enable them to capture the live broadcast and save it to his computer, a CD, or a video cassette. Once the video is captured, the offender can view it again in the future, trade with others sharing the same interests, offer the video for sale or add it to a collection online and freely distribute it. Specialized movie editing software can be used to edit the video, make custom movies or combine other clips and make a longer movie.

Teens have discovered that a Web camera can be a useful tool in a prosperous but dangerous online business opportunity. One young man received a prepaid charge card for his birthday. The fifteen year old then registered a domain name and paid for hosting services. He was a very talented Webmaster and created a Web site where he could broadcast his live appearances on his Web site. He designed a chat room so that visitors could simultaneously chat and view him in real time.

Each day after school and nearly all day and night on weekends, the boy would interact with adults who coached him by making suggestions regarding what sexual poses they would like to see him perform in front of the camera. He told his audience that he would remain fully clothed until someone donated money to him. One participant typed in the chat room and asked the boy what he would do if he gave the teen $10. The boy answered and said that he would take off his pants. Another viewer asked how much the money the boy required to masturbate for him. The boy quoted a price of $50. Once the negotiations were made, the boy instructed site visitors to click on a button on his Web site where they would be taken to a secure payment processing service. Those wishing to watch his live broadcasts could choose from several payment methods including personal check, credit card, or wire transfer. Approximately two minutes after a person made a payment, the boy was notified that a payment was received and he then began to sexually exploit himself with encouragement from those who submitted payments to him.

Once the checks or charge cards had cleared the online payment-processing center, they were deposited into the boy's checking account. This process took between 24 and 72 hours to complete.

Law enforcement discovered this young man’s activity after receiving a tip from someone who knew him and was concerned about his safety. The boy’s parents were shocked to learn that their son was sexually exploiting himself from his bedroom in a nice middle class neighborhood.

This boy and others like him can make between $300-$500 per day displaying themselves in any position imaginable in front of those who are child pornographers wishing to capture new and fresh material for their own collections of to trade with the thousands of others who share an interest in exploiting youth.

The pornographers use ad slogans like these to sell the videos and movies:

• Cute innocent girls caught doing things they never thought they would!


• You will be amazed at what your neighbor's teen daughter is doing in her bedroom after school!


• Tired of looking at sites that claim to have nude teens and don't? We have the real thing!


• Witness her virginity being taken!


• We have the youngest pre-teens and teens on the Net!


• Free teen rape videos. One stud was so big he nearly killed her.


• Naked teens are waiting for you to teach them about sex.


• These teens are hardcore and will do anything you ask them to.


• Submit your hidden video or watch what others have captured.


• Be a voyeur in the privacy of your own home.


• These small-breasted beauties will leave you begging for more.


• Chat with these smooth boys and they will show off just for you.

Know what your child is doing online and keep the computer out of his or her bedroom!

Avoiding Abuse by Persons in a Position of Trust

Your child needs to be armed with specific skills to protect him/herself against sex offenders that appear as instructors, doctors, coaches, teachers, scout leaders, clergy, youth group leaders and others, who have easy access to children that they may see as potential victims.

Sex offenders in a position of trust are particularly difficult to detect because they can easily mask their true motivation for creating a close relationship with a child.

The following survival skills will give children the the knowledge and skills to avoid most of the common methods used by the average sex offender:

• Trust believe your child's instincts. If something is making your child uncomfortable act on that suspicion. Request a different teacher, switch doctors, join a different team, or attend another church. If that change is absolutely not possible, actively supervise your child at all times. There is always a reason that the child is not comfortable.
  

• Beware the teacher, preacher, coach or instructor who asks for help or favors. Talk to your kids about not being alone even with adults they trust. Talk to your kids about keeping the door open if they are called into the teacher's office or better yet take a buddy.
  

• Use caution when accepting gifts from adults. Everyone who buys a child a gift is attempting to create a closer relationship with the child. Receiving gifts from adults or teens outside the family or very close extended family is not appropriate and should be rejected.
  

• Beware the preacher, priest, minister, deacon, youth leader, rabbi or religious lay-person, who showers your son or dauther with attention. One of the very first techniques all sex offenders use is finding the void in a child's life and filling that space. They will take days, weeks, months, years or however long it takes to win the heart of the intended victim. Never be alone even with a member of the clergy. A reputable clergy person will bring a friend or associate to visit anyone and will not insist on being alone with anyone and especially not children.


• Pay very close attention to flattery. If your child's teacher, coach, instructor, or anyone else wants to be the one to spend an unusual amouth of time with your child to help him/her with homework, bring out his best talent or help him meet his/her potential, start paying attention NOW. This extra special attention is a very common technique used by all child molesters, pedophiles and sexual predators to gain the trust of the child prior to victimization.
  

• Avoid dropping your child off for games, lessons, and other activities. This seems so safe but it leaves your child in a vulnerable position and he/she can easily be targeted for abuse.


• Talk to your children about what inappropriate comments are and what innappropriate touching is. Let them know that it is never their fault if it someone does say something that makes them uncomfortable or if someone does touch them in a place they should not be touched.

There is no guaranteed method that will prevent sex offenders from abusing children. These criminals are very creative when it comes to grooming their victims. Just be aware of any warning signs or inappropriate behavior.

Here are some sex offender resources: National Alert Registry (NAR) was designed to bring sex offender information directly to the public. By conducting a ZIP Code search they will be able to notify you if a sexual offender has moved into your community as well as provide you with a complete profile of the sexual offender. Cyber Detective guides you through the process of finding information about nearly anyone. This incredible software resource will instantly guide you through the maze of over 800 million web pages and bring you to where you need to be to find what you're looking for, then walk you through the process of how to locate the information you're seeking.

What Internet Sex Offenders Believe

Online sex offenders believe that children have the right to consent to sexual activity with adults. They believe that it they are only encouraging the child to act on his or her own inner desires and that children do not need to be protected from adult/child sexual interaction.

Online sex offenders believe that they are not doing anything wrong and that they are not forcing their need for gratification on children or taking advantage of their innocence. The problem with that belief is that children are not prepared for the emotional or physical aspects of sex. Many of the child victims are not even able to decide what they want for supper much less have the ability to consent to sex with adults.

In just about every case I've worked, the suspect at some point asks if I'm a cop. He even tells me that it is a federal law that if you are a law enforcement officer, you must disclose that if someone asks. I think some drugged hooker came up with that because there's no law anywhere that you have to disclose anything about being an officer of the law.

The Internet offers a level of anonymity or at least a perceived one. The average Internet sex offender believes that he will never get caught. The sad fact is that there is some truth to that. Its been estimated that less than 1% are caught and brought to justice. Child molesters out number law enforcement by at least 1000 to one. Still there are many that are caught and brought to justice.

Where do people get this stuff? There is no law anywhere that requires an officer to disclose to an online suspect or anyone else that he or she is a police officer. Most of them wouldn't believe it if it was disclosed though.

I've also observed that in most cases I've worked on, the offender had very high expectations of the kid. They expect the young person to handle the details of obtaining birth control, arranging rides to meet out of town and so much more.

Many Internet offenders can be found strongly advocating for the protection of children. I call these the Watch Dog offenders. They will disguise themselves as concerned citizens and will often attempt to insert themselves into organizations that represent children, support legislation that prevents sexual abuse or regulates sex offenders and they will appear to be anything but what he is - someone who is harmful to children.

The inner thoughts of the Internet offender are very distorted and these beliefs are often overlooked by society. The bottom line is, our children will continue to be abused if we don't take action and do something to keep them behind bars.

Here are some sex offender resources: National Alert Registry (NAR) was designed to bring sex offender information directly to the public. By conducting a ZIP Code search they will be able to notify you if a sexual offender has moved into your community as well as provide you with a complete profile of the sexual offender. Cyber Detective guides you through the process of finding information about nearly anyone. This incredible software resource will instantly guide you through the maze of over 800 million web pages and bring you to where you need to be to find what you're looking for, then walk you through the process of how to locate the information you're seeking.

Child Pornography is a CRIME

Child pornography can consist of a child or children engaged in sexual behavior alone or with one or more adults, or it could involve two or more children performing sexual acts, with or without adults being involved or being visible. Such imagery can range from sexualized photographs of a single child or children, or sexualized images of their genitals, through to the most dismal pictures of brutal anal or vaginal rape, bondage, oral sex, bestiality or other forms of degradation, sometimes involving very young children or babies.

Child pornography is all about instant sexual gratification at the victim's expense. Child molesting, and sexual assault are not only associated with sexual desire, but these violent acts are also acts of having power and control over the victim. Violence does not always have to cause a physical injury but it still leaves a deep scar.

Many people come to me and ask, "How can you group the child pornographer in the same category as one who molests children? There is a vast difference between the person who is just viewing sexually explicit images of children and the person who sexually assaults them."

Is there? Is there really? The only real difference between the person who is viewing child pornography and fantasizing about sexual acts with children and the person who is actively molesting them is that the child pornographer might not have acted out his fantasy yet.

What child pornography advertises is not the way most children behave or want to behave. Molestation videos and child pornography demean and degrade an innocent child, stripping them of their self-esteem, self-respect, and emotional health.

Even without their knowledge, every time rape movies are viewed, those young people are being victimized and exploited repeatedly. The images are still harmful to children because they are actually dramatic crime scene photos or real time videos of a crime in action.

Child pornography harms even the children who are not featured in the images. The images distort the child viewer’s perception of love and sex. The images falsely depict adults and other children as being loved, wanted and appreciated when in truth, the child in the image is being abused and exploited.

Almost all of the most successful people in our world today will tell you, "If you can think it, you can do it." Many people discredit the Bible but Proverbs 23:7 tells us, "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he."

Anyone who uses child porn to fulfil a fantasy is well on his way to acting on that fantasy and it's just a matter of time before he/she acts on it and abuses a child.

Here are some sex offender resources: National Alert Registry (NAR) was designed to bring sex offender information directly to the public. By conducting a ZIP Code search they will be able to notify you if a sexual offender has moved into your community as well as provide you with a complete profile of the sexual offender. Cyber Detective guides you through the process of finding information about nearly anyone. This incredible software resource will instantly guide you through the maze of over 800 million web pages and bring you to where you need to be to find what you're looking for, then walk you through the process of how to locate the information you're seeking.

Tips For Protecting Your Teen or Preteen Model

If you have a young model, whether you live in a small town or a large metropolitan area, protecting your boy or girl is a top priority. Here are some simple tips to help prevent sexual predators and stalkers from preying on you child.

1. Never your child's social security number on their resume. Use extreme caution when giving anyone your child's Social Security Number. Ask why it is necessary and what security measures are in place to keep the information from being lost, stolen or misused.

2. Don't publish your phone number. If your phone number is listed, change it. Consider using an alternative phone service so that your home phone number isn't published all over the Internet and in local directories.

3. Check your child's fan mail regularly and carefully. I can tell you that once you appear on TV or in a movie, you will receive fan mail. It will appear in your e-mail inbox or it will appear in your mailbox. At first it may seem flattering but there are some times when it isn't so nice.

Read your child's e-mail or any letters he or she receives. Take special notice of any letters that come from men or letters from strange addresses. Letters from sex offender inmates will usually be clearly marked as inmate mail or will have the prison's return address on it. Be especially cautious of letters that have no return address.

4. Use your own SD card, flash memory, photo stick or memory stick. First of all, only use a professional photographer with credible credentials. Don't use the ones that will send you ads in your e-mail inbox. Most of those are predators in disguise.

When you do need professional photos for your child's portfolio, ask the photographer if you can bring your own media card for his or her digital camera. By protecting the raw image files, you can better protect your child's images and pictures from being grossly altered or from appearing on one of the popular auction sites in the near future or years from now.

5. Don't look for agents in the mall or on the Internet. If you receive a flyer in the mail, at the mall, or at the county fair asking to meet with a talent manager, your safest reaction is to discard it in the trash. I can't even tell you how many sexual predators create flashy Websites and flyers as a way to get easy access to children.

6. Avoid leaving comments on fan web sites, chat rooms or forums. After a few appearances on television or in newspapers, you are likely to notice that many individuals will create web sites, chat forums and other areas dedicated to your young model. Refrain from the temptation to contact the authors of any of these sites or message posts. In many cases, these sites capture personal information from your computer that can be tracked quite easily allowing them to get even more personal information.

While at first it may seem neat when you see the first web site dedicated to your child, but avoid contacting the maker of the site or leaving feedback in a guestbook or forum. Your computer information can be tracked fairly easily, allowing them to get even more personal information.

These tips may seem like common sense to most people but I do hear from many parents seeking advice about how to deal with an Internet stalker or a child molester who has made an aggressive contact with their son or daughter. Always remember that protecting your child is the number one priority.

Here are some sex offender resources: National Alert Registry (NAR) was designed to bring sex offender information directly to the public. By conducting a ZIP Code search they will be able to notify you if a sexual offender has moved into your community as well as provide you with a complete profile of the sexual offender. Cyber Detective guides you through the process of finding information about nearly anyone. This incredible software resource will instantly guide you through the maze of over 800 million web pages and bring you to where you need to be to find what you're looking for, then walk you through the process of how to locate the information you're seeking.

Where is the Nearest Sex Offender?

Parents and those who care for children may not know where the nearest registered sex offender is living. Many people find it disturbing to even think that one could be living on the same block or worse yet, just yards away from their own home.

The problem is that most of the time, people are not individually notified when a sex offender moves to the neighborhood and another problem is, it is a very difficult task to monitor each of the half a million that reside in our communities all across the United States. These offenders live in very small towns and metropolitan areas. They live in subsidized housing for the poor and they live in very affluent neighborhoods. They may be homeless and they may have been highly paid government officials. They blend in to society and are often not suspected of being sex offenders at all.

It is important for every parent to know where the sex offenders are in their neighborhood and avoid crossing paths with these individuals but there are also some things that you need to keep in mind while you are researching the whereabouts of offenders near you.

• Sex offenders move around frequently and don't always inform law enforcement of their new address. The person listed as a sex offender at the address down the street may no longer live there and the new neighbor next door may be an offender who failed to register.


• Not every jurisdiction is capable of updating and maintaining their registry as frequently as others. Some are only updated once every few years and others are updated almost daily.


• You also need to keep in mind that most offenders have either not committed a crime that is considered serious enough for them to be in the sex offender registry or have not been caught yet and therefore will not be in the registry or listed in any criminal database.

It is worth checking your local sex offender registry periodically for any known offenders living near your home. It is one of many strategies you can use to protect your children from being victimized by a sex offender.

Here are some sex offender resources: National Alert Registry (NAR) was designed to bring sex offender information directly to the public. By conducting a ZIP Code search they will be able to notify you if a sexual offender has moved into your community as well as provide you with a complete profile of the sexual offender. Cyber Detective guides you through the process of finding information about nearly anyone. This incredible software resource will instantly guide you through the maze of over 800 million web pages and bring you to where you need to be to find what you're looking for, then walk you through the process of how to locate the information you're seeking.

Five Myths About Sex Offender Lists and Registries

Myth #1 Sex offender registries and lists are a reliable source for a background check.
Sex offender lists and registries should not be the sole source used in a background check. Many people have the same names and many people move. Positive identification is necessary in determining a person's criminal record. Many states require you to have permission from the subject that you are checking and many require that a fingerprint card be submitted in order to do a proper background check. Contact your local law enforcement for more information or click here to learn about background checks.

Myth #2 All sex offenders are required to register as sex offenders.
Each state has it's own guidelines regarding what sex crimes qualify for requiring a person to register as a sex offender. Not all sex offenders are required to register. Many states do not have a penalty for failure to register for those who are required to register. It also greatly depends on what the offender plead guilty to or was convicted of too. The person who broke into a home, stole some jewelry and raped a victim may have plead guilty to a robbery related crime and any rape charges were dismissed.

Myth #3 All states have one central registry where information from cities and counties is sent.
Some states do a very good job of collecting information from each city and county and adding it to one central state sex offender registry. Many states do not have a central registry so you would need to check local city and county records for sex offender information.

Myth #4 Sex offender registration is permanent.
Not always. Many times an offender is only required to register as a sex offender for a certain length of time. If he does not re-offend and completes his sentencing requirements in that length of time, he may no longer be required to register as a sex offender.

Here are some sex offender resources: National Alert Registry (NAR) was designed to bring sex offender information directly to the public. By conducting a ZIP Code search they will be able to notify you if a sexual offender has moved into your community as well as provide you with a complete profile of the sexual offender. Cyber Detective guides you through the process of finding information about nearly anyone. This incredible software resource will instantly guide you through the maze of over 800 million web pages and bring you to where you need to be to find what you're looking for, then walk you through the process of how to locate the information you're seeking.